Day 71, Monday, April 8th, 2013

As I've mentioned several times (I think), I've been on what could be described as a steady dosing of anti-nausea meds, most notably Ativan, which is most often prescribed as an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant med. I'm on a fairly low dose, and I can supplement with Benadryl as needed. I feel that this is salient to the conversation because I have yet to experience an anti-nauseant that does not make me feel soft in the brain. Most of the time, I feel like the inside of my head is making that high-pitched sound that old CRT monitors made when you turned them on. What I'm getting at is that there is not a lot happening upstairs, and this is a very strange way for me to be. It reminds me a lot of how things were before I sussed out my wheat issues, and the extreme cognitive impairment brought on by the consumption of said wheat.

It's better if I drink a lot of fluids, but still... *bweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

We've been walking around a lot, and that has been fun, but surprisingly tiring for me. In the month and a half leading up to my transplant, Mom and I walked everywhere. I felt energetic, and was even starting to get muscle tone back, after more or less six months on the couch in 2012.

In actuality, I was couch-bound for a lot longer than six months because of the effects of the peripheral lymphoma - I coughed constantly, and I couldn't sleep. I spent March through July in an insomniac state and frankly, I can't believe I managed to pass all of my classes. This, coupled with the radiation treatments I received in June on my left axilla (underarm), followed by six rounds of chemo, meant that when we got to Seattle, I was in the worst shape I had been for a terribly long time, possibly the worst in my entire life (at least since grade nine). But, after extensive walking (and a little bit of roof Wushu) for the entire month of February, I was starting to feel a lot more like my usual self.

And then, transplant.

At first it wasn't so bad - in spite of the chemo and the radiation, I was walking plenty, and even using the elliptical trainer in the provided exercise room. Then, of course, there were the difficulties with my bottom and that kept me moving as little as possible for almost two weeks (not actually a bowel joke). Since I was released from UWMC last Monday, Ash and I have covered a lot of ground, and I have actually found myself having to tap out and go home after just a few hours of walking.

This, of course, will improve over time. I have a lot of muscle to rebuild, and a lot of blood cells to remake. Or rather, it will improve over time until the beginning of May (loosely scheduled), when I will begin the conditioning regimen for my next transplant: five consecutive days of "mild" chemotherapy, and another day of radiation. Immediately following this will be my second transplant, and then the process of recovery will begin anew.

How does a blind skydiver know when to pull the ripcord? The leash goes slack.